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Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

The Messenger of Allah (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "A believer must not hate (his wife) believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another characteristic". 


It is well known to all of us that if a person was given something he may be deprived from some thing else; if he is praised for a good characteristic, he may be dispraised for another disliked characteristic. No human being is perfect except the prophets and very few people, they are perfect, yet they may not have every thing they need in this life, perhaps they endure the hardships of life while they have the minimum necessary to support life.

In the light of what we have said, this Hadith is understood, and we can recognize its meaning of the lofty purposes. If a man married a righteous beautiful woman does not necessarily mean that he will find all his desired qualities in her.

Any woman may be praised for such and such, and dispraised for such and such, this is inevitable, so her husband should not hate her to the extent that he abuses, refrain from copulating with her or even to divorce her. Rather, he must weigh her pros and cons with a proper balance. If he finds that her advantages outweighs her disadvantages then he shall keep her.   

For example, a husband may see some physical or moral defects of his wife. However, he may not hate her, because if he dislikes some of her traits, he will be satisfied with her other good traits.

It is noted that the Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, stressed on the moral aspects more than the physical aspects in this commandment, he said: " if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased with another" because the moral aspects are much more important than the physical aspects for both men and women. The wise one shall consider the religious commitment and morals of the potential spouse before the physical aspects. 

It is sufficient to seize the religiously committed spouse,

“Nothing is of more benefit to the believer after fearing Allah than a righteous wife whom, if he commands her she obeys him, if he looks at her, he will be pleased, if he swears an oath concerning her, she fulfills it, and when he is away from her, she is sincere towards him with regard to herself and his wealth

In this Hadith, the believer is addressed, because he is the one who benefits from the reminder and is influenced by the exhortation. He is the one who responds to Allah and to the Messenger because this is the way to attain happiness in this world and in the Hereafter.

Therefore, the Messenger of Allah (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not say, "A man must not hate (his wife)." Rather, he said: "A believer must not hate (his wife) believing woman"